Fading

Intensity no longer burns me like it did. I don't feel the need to be where he is anymore. I can be happy alone. Sometimes happier than I am when tagging along.

It's not funny to be treated like I'm nothing special. I know I've hurt and disappointed you. It's all in the past. I am who I am. My character is complex and difficult. Even I don't fully understand myself.

I no longer feel the need for you to hold me as tightly as you can., to wrap your arms around me until I feel my ribs bend under your strength as I drink you in.

I no longer crave your kisses and melt under your touch.

I'm getting stronger and harder. I'm getting less dependent and needy. I'm getting more independent. Respecting myself more.

Joke about not being able to get rid of me. Joke about forgetting my name or not knowing who I am. I know it's not real but it feels disrespectful to me. I wouldn't know how to react I'd someone said that about their partner. It's awkward.

Joke about it and I'll make it difficult for you to be with me. I will start doing what I need to do. I will start being more selfish.

I love you, but you're making it hard for me to keep saying it and feeling it and wanting to stay with you.

You make it hard to want to be where you are.