I can feel myself coming apart at the seams. My heart is shuddering within me and I can hardly breathe.
I can paint my feelings into words and try to string them together as proof and examples of how I feel, I can't help myself and then I wait on tenter hooks waiting for you to acknowledge them. Any sign that you see me. That you feel who I am.
And as always I come away with my heart stripped down to its raw aching core, my words broken on my lips and strewn around me like pebbles on a beach. I try to pick them up and love them because I know you won't.
I should have learnt my lesson by now. Time after time I have opened up my heart and showed you how painful it is to love you... showed you the depth and terrifying way it swallows me. Showed you that I need you... And each time I come back feeling more alone than before ... but I can't stop because this is who I am. I'm a writer. I'm a poet. I'm a beating, breaking heart that cycles blood with longing. I'm lungs that shudder under oxygen and drown in my forlorn loneliness.
I love you as deep as my bones go and as wide as my world is, and you don't seem to understand it. My words are incomprehensible. My world is invisible. You stand within it's center and yet somehow I can't find a way to show it. I can't find the right words. The right likenesses and similes. I don't know how to show you the world that revolves around you as it's center.
You are everything to me.
I can paint my feelings into words and try to string them together as proof and examples of how I feel, I can't help myself and then I wait on tenter hooks waiting for you to acknowledge them. Any sign that you see me. That you feel who I am.
And as always I come away with my heart stripped down to its raw aching core, my words broken on my lips and strewn around me like pebbles on a beach. I try to pick them up and love them because I know you won't.
I should have learnt my lesson by now. Time after time I have opened up my heart and showed you how painful it is to love you... showed you the depth and terrifying way it swallows me. Showed you that I need you... And each time I come back feeling more alone than before ... but I can't stop because this is who I am. I'm a writer. I'm a poet. I'm a beating, breaking heart that cycles blood with longing. I'm lungs that shudder under oxygen and drown in my forlorn loneliness.
I love you as deep as my bones go and as wide as my world is, and you don't seem to understand it. My words are incomprehensible. My world is invisible. You stand within it's center and yet somehow I can't find a way to show it. I can't find the right words. The right likenesses and similes. I don't know how to show you the world that revolves around you as it's center.
You are everything to me.
No comments:
Post a Comment