21/05/2018
I am hurting and I don't know how to process it.
I want you to leave me and I want you to be there for me. I want you to care.
I know what will happen. You are more distant than usual, I try to fill up the spaces, I fail to. I get hurt. I explode. You wonder what happened.
You have me. A young, intelligent, beautiful, kind, compassionate, and selfless woman who loves you insanely, and you neither see it nor appreciate it.
Maybe I need you to just stop. Stop talking to me about stuff that could make no difference to me. Politics and economics... I'm smart but sometimes I just want to be normal... to relax and talk about nothing, to lose myself in you and just live in the moment. Maybe I need you to stop filling the hours you spend with me talking about other people and try looking inward and telling me about you.
Maybe I need you to stop telling me abstract pieces of a puzzle I'm supposed to put together, and either say nothing or say it all.
Maybe I want you to ask me how I am, or show an interest in me and how I am feeling.
My words roll off your mind like water off a duck's back. They leave no mark, they are barely heard and not understood.
I tell you I love you past the point of madness and you roll your eyes and leave me.
I tell you that when you're not with me it feels like pieces of me are missing.
I tell you that distance is the hardest part...
I tell you my secrets and my hopes and my fears... And you say nothing. I vent my frustration and my pain and you stare at me blankly.
I have given you all of me. And you still have no use for any of it.
I am hurting and I don't know how to process it.
I want you to leave me and I want you to be there for me. I want you to care.
I know what will happen. You are more distant than usual, I try to fill up the spaces, I fail to. I get hurt. I explode. You wonder what happened.
You have me. A young, intelligent, beautiful, kind, compassionate, and selfless woman who loves you insanely, and you neither see it nor appreciate it.
Maybe I need you to just stop. Stop talking to me about stuff that could make no difference to me. Politics and economics... I'm smart but sometimes I just want to be normal... to relax and talk about nothing, to lose myself in you and just live in the moment. Maybe I need you to stop filling the hours you spend with me talking about other people and try looking inward and telling me about you.
Maybe I need you to stop telling me abstract pieces of a puzzle I'm supposed to put together, and either say nothing or say it all.
Maybe I want you to ask me how I am, or show an interest in me and how I am feeling.
My words roll off your mind like water off a duck's back. They leave no mark, they are barely heard and not understood.
I tell you I love you past the point of madness and you roll your eyes and leave me.
I tell you that when you're not with me it feels like pieces of me are missing.
I tell you that distance is the hardest part...
I tell you my secrets and my hopes and my fears... And you say nothing. I vent my frustration and my pain and you stare at me blankly.
I have given you all of me. And you still have no use for any of it.
No comments:
Post a Comment