Reality is a subjective game that plays with my senses and manipulates me; but perhaps I perceive more than I know.
I dissolved into torrents of tears this morning when I woke up, simply because I felt that I was slowly being pushed away. If this was eight months ago he would have been there. He would have insisted on spending every second that we were on ground together. He wouldn't have let me down. He wouldn't have let me go.
He wouldn't have ignored me.
Now I feel neglected. I feel unwanted. I feel like I'm being slowly pushed away. Is it because I showed him my insecurities? I showed him my fears? I showed him parts of me that left me vulnerable, and as a result I'm more susceptible to being hurt. He doesn't know or realise this. And I can't tell him because he won't understand.
It feels like I'm not wanted. It feels like I'm in his way. It feels like I'm losing him.
It really feels like he doesn't want me anymore.
I dissolved into torrents of tears this morning when I woke up, simply because I felt that I was slowly being pushed away. If this was eight months ago he would have been there. He would have insisted on spending every second that we were on ground together. He wouldn't have let me down. He wouldn't have let me go.
He wouldn't have ignored me.
Now I feel neglected. I feel unwanted. I feel like I'm being slowly pushed away. Is it because I showed him my insecurities? I showed him my fears? I showed him parts of me that left me vulnerable, and as a result I'm more susceptible to being hurt. He doesn't know or realise this. And I can't tell him because he won't understand.
It feels like I'm not wanted. It feels like I'm in his way. It feels like I'm losing him.
It really feels like he doesn't want me anymore.
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